just. like. that.
August 3, 2012
Umm. Okay. I’m not nervous. Just kinda smiling like. Oo Mr. Brown. I’m no good at auf wiedersehn. Let’s not and say we did. No. I can’t front. I’ll be there sooon.
I can’t even be sad. You know why? God is So Good All the Time!
Seriously. I gotta thump somethinn. Seems weird to thumpa book. Can’t really thump this keyboard, but I type fast and hard, close enough.
Okay. Wait. I’m checking on my nail. Distracted. Where to begin. Day 27: When was the last time you wrote something you didn’t expect to write?
There is no last time. There is this time. And next time. And every time. I don’t expect anything. It just happens. It’s like Mr. Ex. What? I don’t know. I am enchanted. Ohh yes.
This is what I mean, bout God is So Good. I might be a lil nostalgic right about now but I am not. Mr. Brown, he broke me. Cured is a betta word. There are things I dream in my heart and they are but butterflies ready for the world. I expect nothing. I’m not perfectly calm when the waves swell but I have made peace with the fact that for the life of me I will never understand. I will neva eva know…
“And only because you frighten me to the point where I give over to it. Beyond the flashwave of pain and extasee is a truth outside of knowing. You help me get there.”
That. That right there? Thas Mr. Ex.
And me. I am a lucky girl.
It’s funny cause I didn’t think because I never think until after the fact. Act first, think later and umm good luck with that. I’d say it’s ass backwards except that’s where it began. A photo of a naked girl laying across the bed and me talking about Life is Love and Love is Work and Work is Life so none of the pieces ever separate. And it’s Revelation 7.12 because whenever something important like this happens, I got this thing where I check on it.
This makes no sense. I am being dense. Willfully so. I cannot articulate this without sounding banal. But just as Mr. Brown leaves, Mr. Ex appears.
It’s a dance, you knoww ..