make a splash ~

August 16, 2012

I began my career answering the phone while stohhhned. Receptionist. For a spa products company. Smoked out. Spas are funn. Ohmagosh I went to this one last winter and umm mmm. Yes. So I was hiighh righh. Used to get done too. Dressed like it was 1937 and everything was silver screen and gold stars. Stilettos and pencil skirts and snug sweaters, cardigans, but also Westwood. Avant garde old school is sharp edges no fringe, no lace, every line in place. Curves. I was thinnnn. Thin and blonde. Ice Ice Blonde. I did Donatella Versace for Halloween that year. Had someone else’s hair up on mahh head. It. Was. Glorrrrioussss.

Job didn’t go anywhere, do anything. Boss hated if I read a book. Devil’s magic youu knoww. So I used to amuse myself ~with terrorrr~ And it drove her mad. Yes. I did. Doinn sultry voices on the phone. Like Marilyn Monroe. All. The. Time. Beinn high and lookinn flyy and drivinnn this lady mad cause she, well, she stopped puttin in work. Thought surgery and skin care could compete with a twenty five inch waist. Amused me, greatly. If I remember correctly, I was fired. Yes. I was up to noo good.

My last job, yeaa, I kept a bottle of wine in my bottom drawer. Had that ish up in a mug drinkinn it la di da. Used to talk mad shit for hours and write letters to Mr. Brown. Used to sneak down the aisle and sit by the gargoyles, ohh you knoww. Me in a chair by the window twenty five flights above Lexington Avenue and them gargoyles over my shoulder and Mr. Brown on the phone and youu knoww he got that real deep voice that vibrates in the back of your knees and deep in your belly as it splashes across your heart.

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