Exhibitionist. Narcissist. Oblivious. Those words blink and flash like neon signs before my eyes. Big and Tall and Wide signs that remind me like Mary. And there are no signs but for madness of the mind and it vibrates like twine stretched long and taut and tied at each end so it ain’t goinn nowhere.
And I’m here but I’m there and my body is tearing apart just implexploding and nothing’s happening but it’s like yeaa no one sees except they look. Heads turn at my coming and goings and I’m about to buy a book on Santeria but I don’t know that yet. Instead. I pray.
God. I need peace.
It’s real simple. Sit yo ass down. And I do. On a metal bench. And I slounge there for a moment feeling a little too lovely in candy coated flesh and leopard print fabric that slinks across my thinn thinn self. I lean forward with my elbows between my thighs and one hand propped under my chin kinda slinky like a kitty and I’m watching people go by, go by, go by ..
I have to sit cause I can’t stand. Just felt touched. The Universe be sending me messages while I’m wandering along and I’m not at all sure what to do with them. Knowledge leads to things. It doesn’t just sit there, all innocent. It wants attention, wants interaction, but how to use it best.
How to do it write. Mmm.