a page from the book of love
August 19, 2012
It began with a few words penned by the hand of Mr. Ex and me, ever always the cat, curious. And though it takes a bit more to shave off one of my lives, this conversation hit me harder than I eva woulda thought. Because not knowing much of anything of me doesn’t seem to affect Mr. Ex. This man, he is kinda magic in ways I don’t know. He appears to see things without looking, I would propose.
Conversation can be so fleeting, a mere thing of memory, distorted by wishes and fears and slanted towards what we need to believe. So many things have been said, said and lost, talk being the most vaporous form of the Word. But ahh, Mr. Ex, he puts it down (like the mack hand, me thinks) and me, I’m lucky to be here cause I dig the trip.
He said: Love is dangerous, forgiveness is revolutionary, acceptance is disarming, silence is a weapon, peace is impregnable and you are the battle ground.
She said: Mm may I ask .. what is dangerous about love?
He said: What isn’t?
She said: Fear is not love ~*~
He said: Of course not. It is the absence of. The opposite of; the one to love’s zero, the knowledge to love’s cipher. Overstand?
She said: (smile) then where is the danger
He said: That’s an answer longer than a circle.
She said: Sounds like a trap.
He said: It’s all a trap. This life, these bodies, these words. We’re rats in a maze constructed by gods greater than our understanding. When you think you have it all figured out, go silent. And then you will hear them laugh.
She said: Mm you extinguish your light for the pleasure of darkness but then .. you do as you please ~
He said: Light is borne of darkness. If I love you, I must love your mother, your father. And so must you in order to love yourself… Or is that dangerous?
She said: What is “must?” Love seeks nothing .. tis a flower that gives to all .. and like all spirits it cannot be possessed, only per chance breathed in .. and out
He said: Love seeks everything. Love is the most powerful thing that is. It is the only true power. It is the big bang that is still banging and expanding. It is desire. Without love, no seed burst forth into a flower. Without love, no sperm reaches an egg. Love is vicious and greedy and selfish. And giving and sweet, forgiving.
She said: Desire is fire. Love is air. Ethereal. Freedom, total abandon. All that darkness is fear. Fear is reaal. Theater, emotion, energy. But not love. Love is all gooood. But then thas me. I see how you like your traps live. Thas my curiosity ..
He said: Love is the cipher. It contains everything. And to love, one must accept and surrender to what is. Yes. Must. Love is forgiving but demanding.
She said: Demanding what
He said: Surrender.
She said: Yes .. is this dangerous
He said: As a kiss.
She said: Mm yeaa see
He said: Now we’re back over my head.
She said: “love’s function is to fabricate unknownness” —e.e. cummings. I found this phrase a moment ago. How it suits you at this moment, Monsieur Ex.
He said: You dress me in fine words that flatter, but I long for your nakedness.
She said: For your traps ~*~
He said: It’s all a trap.
She said: Pour vous .. but me see now baby imaa live. Even if the gods laughinn ima give it to emm and thas just how we do. Keep your dangerous love ~*~
He said: It all means nothing and everything. Doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the ride ‘til the world ends. When the gods laugh, I laugh back. Dangerous love is the sweetest. It’s the only love I want. That safe, happy love is a delusion. The love that shall pass is the only one worth holding on to.
She said: Why hold on to it when you can let it sweep you away
He said: Because the few that have done so never came back to tell the tale. But those that hold on return with healing fire and burning madness.
She said: It would appear to be a choice but that’s an illusion too .. I get swept away. I write about him all the time. It’s been a blessing to drown and wash up on the beach ..
He said: Getting caught up is not being swept away.
She said: Youu speak of me ?
He said: We only write about that which we wish to hold on to.
She said: Yeaa .. I love how you say this. But also, that which we need to release .. set free to find peace in creating it as a work of art .. how beautiful
He said: Yes. We write to make it tangible. Because you can’t let go of something until you can hold on to it.
She said: Mil besos ~
He said: That’s a lot of danger.
(but there is no danger, there is no spoon,
nothing but Words whispering verse to the moon)