disappear here

August 20, 2012

The simplicity of life pleases me, eases me, frees me from all false belief, from that which I have seen and lived and loved and failed. I tried to do, to show and prove, to be this thing that would be good. Good as in safe. From attack. Except that’s all I wanted though I couldn’t see it. I was too far gone into the world of pain.

Now. Mmm now. Now it is odd (as in new) to be in Purgatory getting my purification onn. I’m able to see and to feel without going through the Looking Glass. I’m able to release myself of who I have been without grieving for my loss. Though it hurts and it stings and I know where the scars and wounds lie, no longer do I repress nor do I caress my pain. I simply observe it as in, when I see it, it evaporates.

Disappear Here.

I’ve been reading Ellis, as in Bret, going backwards by going forwards and it’s .. ineffable ..

I’m smiling to myself cause I lose the thread and you know I never even cared if I had a thread until Mr. Ex conveyed the beauty of it. A tapestry takes countless threads, each layered in sequence and when observed up close, it is abstract because the closer you come to Truth the more irrational it is.

And so it has been me, weaving along, no clue what the picture is, and that’s kinda blonde. I love not-knowingness; it is the mark of the Fool. It’s not that I need to make plans, it’s that I’d like to have some, well, guidance though I wonder if that’s an illusion, too.

6 Responses to “disappear here”

  1. Miss Rosen,

    I finally know. You are The Fool, the fountain of crazy wisdom. That’s who you are.

    Or perhaps not.

    But never, ever, a dull moment, that’s for sure.

    Tom

    • Miss Rosen said

      (smile)

      i am and will always be a Fool and i love the freedom of this. i had this revelation ages ago, stoned wisdom that i’ll never be able to recapture but how i got there matters less than what i learned ::

      one equals zero.

      ahh. i dont know why but every time i say that i feel peace.

      i am who i am today. yesterday, i was me but also another me. tomorrow, if i am here, i will be whoever appears. i had the most mesmerizing revelations over the past few days and it’s so beyond my ability to articulate any of it, it pleases me to no end.

      it’s a tapestry. i like this metaphor cause i am foreva losing the thread only to look again and realize, i don’t ~need~ to know where i am going. i just need to know kinda sorta where i am, and to know when it is time to weave something else into the mix.

      ~*~

  2. You are truly one of the most fascinating beings imaginable =)

  3. Weaving along; doesn’t that just peg it perfectly. You never cease to amaze me, take whats inside and put it into words.
    Weaving is everything because isn’t everything interwoven. Uh I love the “web we weave” phrase.

    • Miss Rosen said

      (smile)

      thank you. this is coming to me, or me to it, but it is not mine. it’s just the thread i picked up and am following along ~*~

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