April 13, 2012
April 3, 2012
November 23, 2011
A man once told me he never wanted to be beholden to anyone in this world. When I heard those words, I was frozen, unsure of what this meant. I was confused. I literally had to go look the word up.
under an obligation to somebody because of something helpful that person has done
Synonyms include: obliged, grateful, indebted.
And so it was that I understood my shock. How could gratitude be mistaken for debt?
It was later that this same man talked to me about sacrifice. And once again I was stuck. Sacrifice? Virgins in a volcano type of ish? Or is it that the act of giving—or rather, the act of sharing—could become tainted as such. What is it in our world that we do not know how to share, to be grateful, without turning it into an ugly expression of the ego?
I don’t know. But ..
.. I am thankful for this knowledge, for being given the understanding that some consider generosity—in themselves and in others—to be a sin. A sin to give, a sin to receive, all and all, a terrible thing. It becomes a litmus test of sorts, a way to determine the toxicity of the person before whom I stand. The more poisoned a soul has become, the more it retreats into itself, despising others for what it denies itself.
Loss is self imposed. The Universe is generous to a fault. And if you cannot see that, it’s because you prefer to be a victim of your own hand. Been there, done that, yup yup.
I like the idea of Thanksgiving, if only because it reminds me to reflect. No matter what pitfalls befall my path, I lead a charmed life. And every day, I do my best to remember to give thanks.
As the year comes to a close, I cannot help but to reflect upon where I am and how I reached this place in my life, complete and total freedom—the only truth on this earth. And so it is that I would like to thank everyone who has given and who has received, everyone who has shared and has contributed and has been a part of this journey.
Most of all I would like to thank God, to thank the Universe, to thank Nature, to thank Time and Space and Everything and Nothing(ness) for having my back.